It's Fall Y'all

We managed to take advantage of another beautiful fall day.

Cole and Stella enjoyed the nice weather at Holmes Lake yesterday.

Stella got a ladybug on her nose! 

I think our little lady has become more fond of the outdoors. She instantly becomes calm when we're outside.

Cole has long been a lover of the outdoors. He was watching a Daddy Long Legs crawl across our blanket. He was envious of some dudes on the lake in a kayak. I had to remind him that kayaking with a 7 week old baby would probably not be very fun. We did have a laugh about how funny Stella would look in a tiny life jacket.

Looks like today may be the last nice weather day for a while- Stella and I are enjoying planning some outdoor time for this afternoon when we get Cole from school.

It's All In The Hands

I could watch these hands all day.

 Sometimes it's hard for me to remember that Stella is a real person. I mean, obviously I know that she's real, but she doesn't do many of the things that other people do. She's still at the eating, sleeping & pooping stage. That's pretty much what she does.

The hands, however, are busy.

The hands tell us that she's growing and learning.

They have developed these awesome dimples where her knuckles will someday be.

They tell me when she's totally relaxed.  

They are the connection between brother and sister.

This is one of my favorite pictures ever. It was taken the first time that Cole was able to hold Stella in the hospital. He made sure that other than Jim & I, he was the first person to hold his sister. What a special moment it was when she reached out and grabbed his finger.

Her hands are also warning signs for us.

Stella sleeps all swaddled in her blankets. She's comfy this way. If she's not swaddled she hits herself in the face and wakes herself up. When the hands break free from the blanket, we know she's about to wake up.

Sometimes the hands end up in positions that make me laugh. She looks like a grown lady with her hands politely folded in her lap. (Moments later she probably hit herself in the face!)

Sometimes the hands say "Please Mom, enough with the pictures!"

Her hands remind me that she is a real person.

At this point, I can't wait to see all of the things that Stella will do with her hands in her lifetime.  

Very soon she will use those hands to grab a toy;

and then I will get to wipe them clean of dirt and all of the other awesome things that children get into;

and then she will use those hands to write her name.

She will use those hands to learn and express herself.

She will use those hands to do her life's work- maybe she will use them to heal others, maybe she will use them to serve, maybe she will use them to teach.

Eventually, she will use those hands to hold her own children.

Maybe she will be as enamored by their hands as I am of hers.

It Was A Beautiful Day

It was a beautiful day for to spend some time in the park.

We hope you had time to relax and enjoy some time outside! We were able to get out for an impromptu afternoon picnic, and Stella and her Daddy enjoyed a nap together.

...And Smart

I believe in the power of suggestion

I am also a bit of a modern day feminist. When we found out that we were going to have a girl, we were both thrilled and a little bit terrified. Raising little girls presents a different set of challenges than raising a boy. I am painfully aware of the messages that society and the media send to little girls, and I want to ensure that my daughter grows up with a positive self-image. Of course, at 6 weeks post partum, I'm probably overthinking this, but it's never too early to start thinking about it right?

Like every other parent, we believe that our daughter is absolutely beautiful, and tell her that often. I suppose she hears statements about her cuteness about a hundred times a day, but at our house, we always follow up that statement with a statement about her obvious intelligence. It sounds a little like this:

"Stella, you're so cute.... and smart."

I am also proud to share that as a little boy who has been raised by his feminist mother, Cole is very sensitive to gender inequalities, and often points out things that he sees in school. He recognizes the girls who buy in to the messages that society and the media sends to little girls, and knows that he wants something different for his sister. He encourages us to avoid buying clothes for Stella that reference her as a princess. Some of those clothes are super cute, but I support Cole's position- so our girl wears gear that looks more like this:

Only time will tell what, if any, difference any of this will make in the life and development of Stella. I'm sure growing up with loving and devoted parents, a big brother who thinks she hung the moon, as well as grandparents, aunts & uncles who love her can't hurt.

Sometimes Parenting Is Not Pretty

Yesterday I needed a mulligan.

I  like to think of myself as a capable person in most situations, especially when it comes to parenting. Yesterday was one of those days that caused me to question my capabilies.

All day long it just seemed like I couldn't quite get it together, and by the middle of the afternoon Stella got in on the game, and thought it would be fun to try to stress her mom out.

First thing in the morning, as we're doing Stella's bath, I realized once I had gotten her in the water that I had forgotten to grab a washcloth. I ended up using a paper towel to clean my baby. I was either that or a dish cloth that I'm pretty sure was not clean. Oh well, no harm. 

Then Stella went with me as I went for my 6-week postpartum doctor appointment. She was happily snoozing as we sat in the waiting room, and even in the exam room while we waited for the doctor. Of course she woke up when the doctor arrived and fussed through most of the appointment, then spit up on herself. Perfect.

Next we had about an hour before we needed to get Cole from school. We ran to the grocery store to grab a sandwich for lunch since it was almost 2:00 and I just realized I hadn't eaten any lunch. I figured we could just sit at Cole's school, I could eat my sandwich, before I needed to feed Stella. Well, Stella had other plans. I got a few bites of my sandwich and then she was not interested in waiting any longer, so I fed her. As anyone who has taken care of an infant knows- when something goes in, something else must come out- so now I have to attempt my first diaper change in the car. Oh, and to add to the challenge we had a blow out, so not only is Miss Stella sitting in a poopy diaper, but she also has poop halfway up her back- Neat!!!!

Ok, I can handle this. Remember, I'm capable.

I decide the back seat is the best place to attempt this diaper change. I don't know why I thought this. For the record- the back seat of a Honda Civic is a BAD place to change an infant. I manage to get Stella's onesie and shirt off without a complete poop disaster, and thankfully I have a sleeper in the diaper bag to put on her. As I take her diaper off, oh awesome- she is peeing!

Now, if anyone tells you that boy babies are the only gender who can spray their mothers with pee, I now have evidence that this statement is incorrect. Luckily I still had the onesie close- so it ended up doubling as a shield. About this time, I hear the bell ring at the middle school so here is my daughter naked in the backseat of the car, covered in poop and urine and there are middle school students walking by and saying "Oh cute, look at the baby." Yep kids, real cute!

At this point I'm thinking that any of these middle schoolers is far more capable to handle this situation than I am, but no one is stopping to help, so I soldier on. I manage to get my baby reasonably clean and clothed right about the time that Cole walks up. Thankfully he is smiling! Good- at least one of my kids is happy. He holds Stella for me as I gather up her messy clothes and throw them in a bag. I just want to get home, so I figure I can deal with the wet changing pad later- right about that time I notice that Cole has set his book bag on the still wet changing pad- Gross.

We manage to get home without further incident, but my confidence in my parenting skills is completely shattered. I immediately hand Stella off to her Dad when I get home- at this point, I needed rescue. Turns out my rescue comes from a most unexpected place. As Cole is cleaning out his lunch box- he says: "Mom, you make the best pasta salad." And I'm back. Healed. Confidence Restored. Saved.

Now it's time to make dinner.....

COUSINS!!!!

Calyn Jade Smith- 4 months,   Stella Patricia-Jean Bennett - 6 weeks,   Kyley Denise Kubik - 6 months

One new baby in a family is a blessing. Our family has received multiple blessings this year. Yesterday we were finally able to get these three little girls together for the first time, and it appears that they enjoyed each other. I'm sure that they will have many hours of fun times together as they grow up.

As a sister, it has been awesome to watch my brother and sister become parents for the first time. These little girls are blessed to have such wonderful parents in Emily & Greg, and Carey & Jason.

It has also been nice to have a built-in support system to share experiences and ideas with people who are going through the same things at basically the same time. There is a lot of diapering, feeding, and infant growth and development talk when we all get together :)

We look forward to many more pictures similar to this one as these little girls grow.

Fidelity To Harvey Karp and What Is On Stella's Face?

Yes, I'm talking about Harvey Karp again. He's a genius and has made our home peaceful. Harvey says there are 5 S's to a peaceful baby. Swaddle, Side, Shhh, Swing, and Sucking. I am definitely down with 4 of the 5, but have a tough time with the agressive Shushing that Karp does. I realize that by not doing the Shushing, I'm not really being faithful to the Harvey Karp method, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Jim, on the other hand, especially enjoys the Shushing. I think he does it to annoy me, and it works. We have plenty of "white noise" options in our house, so I usually opt for something that doesn't leave me out of breath.

Last night we were working on getting Stella to sleep for the night- well, I was feeding her and Jim was sitting on the couch watching football and eating peanuts, but he was there with me for support. I got her to the swinging stage, and she was still not ready for sleep. Jim told me that it was because I had skipped the Shushing step and went over to provide assistance. He Shushed her for a few minutes and she was happily off to dreamland.

A while later I went to pick her up to take her to bed and noticed what looked like crumbs on Stella's face. I figured out that it was a few little pieces of peanuts.
How did Stella get into peanuts, I wondered?
Did Cole sort out his Halloween candy on her blanket, I wondered?
No, the peanuts came from her Daddy.

Apparently he Shushed while eating his snack and sprayed our daughter with peanut crumbs. Gross- and Funny!

Being parents to a newborn is an awesome responsibility. Sometimes it is very stressful, but it's also incredibly fun. I'm so glad that we can laugh at ourselves and the silly things that happen during the day to day tasks.